wakemydreams;

2010-04-03T22:27:00.002+08:00

It is not rational for someone to fall in love with someone that she does not even know very well.
It is not rational for someone to think about that someone all the time.
It is not rational for someone to begin to want that someone beside her.

But since when did love make sense?

2010-02-05T22:50:00.002+08:00

Most times, it's just a lot easier not to let the world know what's wrong.

Yes, indeed I am not happy.
I'm just very good at pretending.

I just know that I wouldn't do that if I were you.

I miss you, J.
~~I fucking miss you.~~

2009-05-22T20:55:00.002+08:00

Noah: My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you.

(ignore me, i'm writing nonsense.)

it's been almost a year now
(well 2 more months to be exact)
somehow i think
you're the reason i feel this way

for a long time
i felt more lonely than ever

seeing your face
seeing your smile

i felt a twisted knot inside

i never really showed
this other side of me

who still remembers

what it feels like to miss you
what you like and don't
the warmth of your hand
the way you teased me
the way you messed up my hair

each time we walk past each other
like strangers
i hold back
my tears
and my fears

i used to wonder
if we could ever be friends again

i cannot remember the last time i spoke to you
seems like forever
and forever is a long time

i told myself i'm over you
i just kept on pretending
and playing this game

alone

but i suppose i'm tired
just a little too tired now

maybe i'll stop pretending

you still make my heart skip a beat
do you know?

2009-05-20T22:16:00.002+08:00

i think
it has come to a point
where i can't think

don't want to think
think that i think i'm not thinking

but actually when i think
of thinking that i think i'm not

i am thinking.

okay,
i'm not actually thinking.

ps. i don't know what i'm writing.
pps. maybe i'll delete this someday.

2009-04-21T20:05:00.002+08:00

it's been a week now,
a long week.
i did that on purpose today. HAH.

2009-04-14T22:54:00.002+08:00

its why
do i just
keep a
little thinking
of you, bit
m. more. this is so not right.

2009-04-11T20:44:00.002+08:00

"the dream will always be a dream."
why do i feel this way.
i dont want to.
maybe you should listen to my ipod playlist.
~~it's all about you.~~

2009-04-05T00:55:00.002+08:00

the look in your eyes are how
stone hard cold these days. about
and so are mine, i
i feel like a zombie. think
i wanna die
i wanna cry.
cry my heart out.

2009-03-31T21:42:00.000+08:00

somewhere along in the pain,
you turn left , and i stay right.

right where i belong.

2009-03-12T21:02:00.001+08:00

i sit and watch as the taxi lights distantly fade.
i guess i always thought it'd end this way.

hello emo gero.

2009-02-20T20:42:00.000+08:00

"He turned around and looked right at me and said nothing. Not even hi. It was as if the months we had spent together, the time I spent loving him, just weren't important, as if they never happened."

2009-02-14T23:27:00.000+08:00

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You
Have loved me

2009-02-02T22:39:00.002+08:00

I have already accepted that:

I can't change anything now.
You won't change anything now and forever.
We just can't seem to talk.

I won't think of you anymore.
You don't even care if i existed.
We just walk past each other like strangers.

I do not shed a tear for you anymore.

2009-02-01T22:05:00.003+08:00

oh i almost got knocked down by a car today.
it was dark, and i was wearing black. =/

~~maybe i wish the car knocked me down right there and then instead.~~

happy birthday shihuan! (:

2009-01-27T04:35:00.001+08:00

why do you still make my heart skip a beat no matter how hard i tell myself that i'm fine without you.

it's so ~~fucking~~ annoying.
cos i wish i was drunk.

2009-01-22T19:30:00.001+08:00

i wanted to tell you in some other way
it was supposed to be sweet and honest
but i couldn't find the words to say
i might have been mean
i might have been cold
i might have hurt you, but
what i really meant to tell you was

i don't regret one moment with you
it's hard to see you walk away
but it's the right thing to do
feeling love isn't something you choose
so even with tears in my eyes
this is a glad goodbye

just 'cause it's over doesn't mean it wasn't real
and i'll have these memories
this pain can never steal
so i'll let you go
i'll try to move on
darling, i'm grateful
this time healing will come easier

much easier i hope.

(lyrics written by her. thanks!)

2009-01-21T23:38:00.001+08:00

perfect score.
perfect score.
perfect score.
perfect score.
perfect score.

nothing else matters to me anymore.

(that's the way, gero! just ~~try to pretend to~~ put on a smile, and make life worth the while.) ;D

2009-01-19T22:24:00.001+08:00

The door slams I wake up
Another illusion I have made of this
I cry I swept away every tear that I've cried
And I swear this was your choice
So save me from falling with the sound of your voice

Are you lonely? Do you hold back?
Will the road ahead keep you on track?
I know you made what real for
but I can't help to die just a little bit more

I’ll miss your every moment
I can't hold it
And I swear
I'll miss your perfect charming selfishness
I can't say goodbye, say goodbye

So here goes my last chance
Of an hopeless romantic and I don't understand
Why you don't, why you wanna show
Your dangerously enemy and it's tragic so pathetic
I'm in love with you and you just don't get it

So when you lay your head at night do you think of me?
Do you think it's right to leave me here to kick myself
to hate myself for all that I felt?

So I sit here finding a way
Surrounded but still lonely
Your absence here doesn't help, it doesn't help
Cause every time I look to you
A mild depression comes screaming through
I don't know myself, we don't know ourselves

So make me this promise, yeah?
Say it with an object tone
Emotion feeling, can't stop spinning
Just keep breathing, say you need me

2009-01-17T17:36:00.002+08:00

I know you'll ask me to hold on
And carry on like nothings wrong
But there is no more time for lies
Cause I see sunset in your eyes
your presence is killing me slowly
3 more days, and i wonder if you'll do it. my first week of school was hectic, and somehow i can't take the stress. i just break down at the slightest thing. and somehow, keeping silent and not talking seems like the best way. somehow, just somehow, i feel more alone than ever. life sucks.

2009-01-13T22:57:00.003+08:00

something that i wrote back then,

Recently, I’ve been running

Chasing after something
That waits for no one.

I’ve been racing against time.

I said I would never admit defeat
But now why do I feel that I have lost

Maybe definitely
The winds took me

Away.

(rachel, rachel, rachel, it's so hard to stick to my resolution. ugh.)

2009-01-09T10:35:00.005+08:00

hi, can i cry with you watching?

basket luh, i am in deep shitzx, for something that i did not do. my life just got more screwed. oh, and i haven't finish my ~~phy~~ math gp chem homework. how? and why am i the one stuck in the middle. sorry, you have already ruined my trust in you.

and it felt like a bullet in her heart.

2009-01-06T22:02:00.004+08:00

比想象中更痛 你真的没回头
我命令眼泪不许失控
回忆不跟你走都挤在我心中
我就有责任让它值得被珍重

谢谢你曾让我难过
谢谢我没有想太多
当爱情左盼右顾的时候

我眼泪都笑了谁还想哭呢
再勇敢的站着找回光和热
面对你的时候我不会舍不得
因为你已是过客因为路有些曲折
是美的

心碎成了沙漠就快开凿绿洲
我没有时间不知所措
你温柔的双手本就不属于我
又何必在乎它以后属于谁呢

你眼泪都笑了谁还会哭呢
来不及完美的就唱首骊歌
想起你的时候我不是卑微的
反而我没有遗憾因为我已爱过你
深深的

2009-01-04T23:14:00.002+08:00

hi world, i had oic flyer distribution today and i almost dieded. i was with eug matt john and it was damn funny cos i cannot read a map and i have no sense of direction. eug got scolded by some stupid auntie, and i got frightened by certain things that barks or meows. e thinks it's funny when i curse and swear so he kept asking me to repeat. i realise my favourite word is 'laxing' and when i curse i only use one (or two) words? fuckinghell. or you can leave a spacing in between and it becomes two words. okay i have no idea what i'm ranting about. goodnight world.

flyer distribution part 2 tmrw.
lets go!

2009-01-01T22:39:00.003+08:00

and finally she stopped chasing,
cos she decided that if he was worth it
he'll come running to her instead.

a new year ahead,
whole new adventure awaits me.

hello 2009,
i know we'll be good friends.

365 days to pull through,
then i'll come for you.

2008-12-27T13:48:00.001+08:00

the hardest thing
i'll ever have to do
will be to
tell you that
i love you no more

the hardest thing
i'll ever have to do
will be to
lie to you

to walk away

the hardest thing
i'll ever have to do
will be to

forget you.

none of us wanted this,
but nothing matters anymore.

2008-12-25T22:54:00.004+08:00

a note to myself;

breathe in, breathe out, its time to let him go. its hard but you can do it, just never give up on yourself. you can't say you're happy when all you do is cry. you can try and try but one day, trying just won't be enough. after a million tries, you'll notice that it just made things worse so stop holding on. you know NOTHING is gonna change, its like this and it will always be like this. let it all go, come on at least try. i can't promise that it won't work and i can't promise that you'll be happy right away, it honestly takes a lot of time. i can promise you that once its all said and done, you'll start brand new. you'll learn to smile and love again. it may take time but thats what you need is time. time for yourself, to work on yourself. don't let the memories or the pain stop you from being happy. if being happy is without him, then you know what to do. move on, he's one out of a million. you deserve better, and you know that you have friends that love you. don't doubt youself, and don't over analyze on things. when you know, you know. be optimistic and view this opportunity as a chance to see if he was really the one for you. a chance to see if you couldn't find anyone better. if you don't give yourself a chance, you'll never be able to say i tried because in reality, you didn't. you're a strong individual, you have inner strength that will keep you optimistic. smile not because you have to but because you deserve to. don't waste your time crying over someone because he isn't checking on you or calling you because you don't know if you still have that spark. get it over with and don't waste your life crying over something that could've happend. be strong for yourself and you will stand out. someone is looking for you to make you happy and he's your prince charming. don't worry about trying to find him cause destiny will bring you together. its your life now go out and live it.

smile, it only keeps you stronger.

2008-12-22T22:34:00.001+08:00

deep down they both know how badly they want and need each other,
but neither wants to be the first to admit it.

so what exactly do you want from me?
what the ~~fuck.~~

2008-12-22T00:12:00.001+08:00

and no one knows, no one will ever know the pain i'm feeling.

2008-12-16T20:51:00.000+08:00

I don't know how to love him,
What to do, how to move him.
I've been changed, yes, really changed.
In these past few days when I've seen myself
I seem like someone else.

I don't know how to take this
I don't see why he moves me.
He's a man, he's just a man.
And I've had so many men before
In very many ways:
He's just one more

Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout?
Should I speak of love - let my feelings out?
I never thought I'd come to this - what's it all about?

Don't you think it's rather funny
I should be in this position?
I'm the one who's always been
So calm, so cool, no lover's fool
Running every show
He scares me so.

I never thought I'd come to this - what's it all about

Yet, if he said he loved me
I'd be lost, I'd be frightened.
I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope.
I'd turn my head, I'd back away,
I wouldn't want to know -
He scares me so.
I want him so.
I love him so.

2008-12-15T02:09:00.004+08:00

hiiiiiiiii it's freaking 214am in the morning and i'm still studying physics. trg tmrw (or rather, later) with my dearest team nj! after that there's the 4 hours physics test. damn. and oh, there are certain things that made me happy! i've found the mask to put on for now. -grins- so, if you don't know who i am, i'm geraldine, but you can call me beautiful. (:

destined to fail.

2008-12-14T14:54:00.003+08:00

i was afraid of falling in too deep.
i know where i want to be, though part of me still wants to hold on.
but somehow it hurts too much.

so i stayed away.

ps. how could you have forgotten who i was.

2008-12-12T21:27:00.001+08:00

if you wanted to take it away from me,
why bother giving me at all?

2008-12-11T23:16:00.003+08:00

your love was never mine to keep
we can't hold on we're losing track
so where's the road to take us back
and how did we forget what we believed

if i can't have you
and if the love has gone
and if you just can't find it in yourself to carry on
and if you had to leave
and take my life forever
cos i would never be with anybody else
if i can't have you

my dream is to be able to spend christmas with you. but i guess it won't come true huh. most probably never will.

xoxo,

2008-12-08T23:35:00.004+08:00

pretty. pain. pure. prince. past. pressure. pixelated. perfect. pj.

somehow i make no sense. but gero, let go. you'll feel better i'm sure. don't hold on to something that cuts you, though it's really pretty and you love it with your life. okay gero, what the hell are you talking about. seriously i'm like typing nonsense here. i think i should stop. okay stop! but my fingers don't seem to stop. i think i need to do chemistry. well, where's my paper? i don't know. what the hell. ugh, seriously, get. a. grip. fuck.

2008-12-07T23:02:00.001+08:00

i never wanted anything to end this way
you can take a blue sky and turn it grey
i swore to you that i would do my best to change
but you said it don't matter

im looking at you from another point of view
i don't know how in hell i fell in love with you
i'd never wish for anyone to feel the way i do

2008-12-06T16:43:00.002+08:00

"well, it's no secret that the best thing about a secret, is secretly telling someone your secret! thereby secretly adding another secret to your secret collection of secret...secretly." -spongebob squarepants.

i have a secret.

2008-12-02T23:53:00.003+08:00

"eh your hair is not very geraldine-like today leh. too neat."

i refuse to be emo anymore. because g BG doesn't like me to be emo, so i shall try to be happy. no promises ah, only try. (: on a sidenote, i made a new friend today, who said i was too smart for my own good. haha.

camp till friday night.
awesomeness.

ps. g wanted his name to be BG and must be beeeeeg somemore. -.-

2008-11-30T00:24:00.000+08:00

pain?
what is pain?

2008-11-26T20:59:00.002+08:00

all our 'i love you's were just not enough to survive.
something your eyes never told me.

should I keep on waiting or does love keep on fading away?

2008-11-23T00:02:00.003+08:00

I told you every day
I told you every night in every way
I love you

Maybe you got scared
Maybe I have nothing else to say
But I love you
So baby now my life's a mess
Cos I couldn't love you any less

you seem to be able to make me feel like a different person. or maybe it's just me trying to run away from myself and the truth. i try to be normal, but i just can't be me anymore. the girl you knew died a long time ago. your girl will never be back again. somehow, everything i do seems so surreal. it wouldn't really matter if i just disappeared today. it's not like i want the world to end now or anything, but like, nothing really seems to matter to me. i wouldn't die happy, yet i wouldn't die sad anyway.

i feel nothing. nothingness. is that how one is supposed to feel when he dies? and recently, i seem to put on that expressionless face, because i don't know what to feel. but well, on second thoughts, doesn't everyone in this world wear masks? and hide everything inside. pretending to be someone you're not.

i train to keep myself sane. i study to keep my brain occupied so there's no room for thoughts of you. i breathe to keep myself alive.

ps. i still steal glances at you all the time.
pps. what happened to the promise not to miss you now.
ppps. (i forgot what i wanted to type here.)

2008-11-18T20:37:00.002+08:00

training's so overwhelming, so overwhelming that most of the time i'm so tired that i don't think of you. ~~yet i know you know i'm killing myself.~~ (and i wonder if you'll still be worried about me.)

a promise not to miss you now,
~~but i know i'll break it.~~

2008-11-15T23:32:00.000+08:00

today, i knew you were there, watching me. so i rowed my heart out.

i rowed for you.

2008-11-10T21:44:00.001+08:00

i wish you'd sing this to me,

after some time i've finally made up my mind
she is the girl and i really want to make her mine
i'm searching everywhere to find her again
to tell her i love her
and i'm sorry 'bout the things i've done

2008-11-06T00:23:00.004+08:00

i think i'm just using work and everything else to keep myself busy so i won't think of you. i try not to look at you, try not to think if you were thinking of me, try not to talk about you. it's killing me, killing me very slowly. and somehow, i just cannot look you in the eyes anymore, because your beautiful eyes pierce right through my heart.

who are you now?
do you still remember me? ~~i miss you.~~

2008-10-31T22:20:00.001+08:00

She says she's fine, but she's going insane.
She says she feels good, but she's in a lot of pain.
She says it's nothing, but it's really a lot.
She says she's okay, but she’s really not.

2008-10-25T01:11:00.000+08:00

missing someone is part of loving them. if you're never apart, you'll never know how strong your love really is.

hello sunshine! (:

2008-10-16T01:14:00.000+08:00

today, i knew you were there watching me. so i rowed my heart out.

i rowed for you.

2008-10-05T05:41:00.001+08:00

i don't know why i'm still awake at 541am in the morning. i haven't slept a single bit. seriously.

maybe it's you.

2008-08-04T22:00:00.001+08:00

I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done. I just can't do this anymore
Cos we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now
We've been walking around in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line
So believe me.

I am sorry.

2008-07-21T21:50:00.001+08:00

recently, no matter what i do, my mind seems to be far away (probably with you.) and sometimes i'll wonder, what are you doing right now and then. are you missing me? are you thinking of me? then i'll snap back to reality, and then stare at the tv screen, trying to understand what's going on,

but the tv's not even on.

2008-07-08T19:43:00.002+08:00

if you want a rainbow, you have to put up with the rain.

i finally learned what life's all about. hanging on when your heart's had enough, and giving more when you want to give up.

and in the way, it all falls into place.

behind every beautiful thing, there is some kind of pain.

who is your heart beating for? well, mine's beating for you.

so it's not gonna be easy. it's gonna be real hard. we're gonna have to work at this every day, but i want to do that because i want you. i want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day.

(credit: PromiseMeQuotes.)

2008-06-12T21:05:00.001+08:00

guess what,
common test kills me.

and canoeing keeps me alive.

i think i've found my heart.
i think i know where i belong.

2008-05-21T23:42:00.001+08:00

to the moon and back.
to forever.

odiagtmy.

2008-04-30T22:50:00.000+08:00

so whenever you get weary
just reach out for me
i'll never let you down my love

pls, just hold on.
i need you.

2008-04-27T20:51:00.003+08:00

i swear i haven't had so much fun in such a long time. (: all those stupid things we do. makes me smile when i think back. haha let's do it again some time soon. you really really know how to make my day.

ps i love you. (a lot.)

2008-04-25T23:20:00.009+08:00

sometimes i just wonder what i really want in life.
sometimes i just feel that something's missing,
but i don't know what. you make me complete (:
sometimes i just cannot control myself.
i cannot help but to want you so badly.
sometimes i just pray for some rain,
just to see the rainbow.
- i love the taste of your lips,
these little things that make me smile.

2008-04-19T23:11:00.003+08:00

now i am finally certain,
that everyone wears a masks.

i wish i could read those eyes of yours,
they seem to want to tell me something.
yet you make my heart skip a beat.

2008-04-10T20:22:00.003+08:00

what everyone said today,
really made me think a lot.
i can really feel it all coming.
i really want to do it,
for the team, for you, for everyone.

we'll train and row together,
as one team, one boat, one heart.

because we are a family,
because you are the reason i'm here.

2008-04-07T21:13:00.002+08:00

don't smile for the sake of smiling.
smile because you're happy. (:

because you are worth it.

2008-03-30T21:16:00.002+08:00

8 races in a day + the burning sun + all the yelling and shouting + all the running / walking about + everything else = a tired, drained, terribly sunburnt, zombie-ish gero.

i finally found back my heart,
and my desire to row.

2008-03-21T16:03:00.002+08:00

i got freaking cut by my boat. ):
damn pain eh.

but you make everything a whole lot better.

<3

2008-03-19T22:41:00.003+08:00

tonight will be the night
that i will fall for you
over again.

2008-03-13T22:49:00.002+08:00

as what mr keewei (beloved peanut biscuits provider) has requested, no emo post for today. (:

well, i kinda enjoy study sessions now.
(haha but no, it's not because of the reason you're thinking now okay.)
i finished all my holiday homework already yay. except for chem VA. eeeks. my group memebers are so gonna kill me.

anyhow, the rain's such a spoiler these days. although i love rain, but not everyday please. up to the extent that macr is flooded now. and we can't train -.-

andand it was a great night. (: the sky with a half moon, the cool breeze, ships, the sounds of the waves... almost perfect.

2008-03-08T21:00:00.004+08:00

i'm hoping for some rain,
to wash away this pain.

that smile i wear on my face,
it's hard to always keep it there,
~~where it doesn't belong.~~

2008-03-03T20:39:00.002+08:00

i think i found my heart today,
but i kinda lost my ability to think logically.

my dear girl, what are you expecting to happen?
i should stop falling in deeper.
maybe i am thinking too much.
somehow i don't make sense

neither do you.
seriously, what are you thinking manzxz.

i need to know.

2008-02-23T21:41:00.004+08:00

did something i never thought i would do.
don't regret it though.

haha i seriously must be insane.

hello teng bf,
you're missed.

2008-02-18T21:36:00.002+08:00

never was,
never will be.

you broke me into a million pieces today,
i'm still picking up the pieces.

whatever doesn't break you, makes you stronger.
~~or maybe i was wrong all along.~~

just wait and see,
the gero you know will be back soon.
trust me.

2008-02-05T20:35:00.000+08:00

it's been so long since i wrote something in here. quite a lot has happened, too much to be put into words. or maybe, it's just that some things are not meant to be said. however, what's in the past are all in the past already, so we'll stay like this alright? (:

and carolyn dali my bestie for 8 years and counting, our little chat yesterday made me miss you a lot more. can't wait for our date, and more dates to come! rmbr our bestie day on 3rd sunday of every month okay. ;p and we shall bitch talk eat shop go crazy and others. haha. i can't believe it's been so long already! i love you many many alright. <3

you know sometimes i'm really really tired, mentally and physically, yet i know i have to go on. i'm trying very hard,

really.

2008-01-20T01:24:00.000+08:00

sometimes i find people so amusing. we all put on masks everyday, putting words into people's mouths, acting like someone we're not. seriously, why do we go to that extent. why can't we be ourselves? i cannot deny that i do put on a front and wear a mask everyday. but like, i just wonder, why?

i try to be happy. yet it makes me sad.
i try to join in. yet i feel more alone.
i try to fit in. yet i act like someone i'm not.

why, oh why can't we be true to ourselves?

follow your heart?
haha, what kind of crapzxz is that.

to begin, step 1:
find your heart.

on a sidenote, happy birthday to myself. (:
thanks for all the wishes!

2008-01-17T22:38:00.000+08:00

happy birthday beloved! (:
another year closer to forever.

(ps i love you.)

2008-01-06T10:17:00.000+08:00

I'm seriously in love with Edward Cullen. (What the heck, he's a fictional character from a book. I think I'm nuts.)

So caught up with reading,
So caught up in my own world.

I somehow got lost,
in your eyes.

2007-12-30T19:09:00.000+08:00

the year's coming to and end soon and well, i have to say that in my opinion, the year passed kinda fast, too fast to capture all those happy moments. everything seems like a blur.

this year was like a roller coaster ride for me, with ups and downs, laughter and tears. i remember at the beginning of this year (or was it the end of last year), we both hugged each other and cried, because we knew that we'll have lesser time for each other, and we were afraid that we'll drift away. but this year has proven otherwise. our love's still as strong, or maybe even stronger than before, and although things do change, our love remains.

if i had a camera left with only one shot, i'll capture a photo of you and me, both laughing and enjoying ourselves, not caring about anything else. i wish it could be like this everyday.

for 2008, i don't expect much. i just hope that 2008 will be a new beginning, where i'll be more hardworking, doing all my work, and studying much harder to get better grades. i hope that 2008 will be a new beginning, for the both of us, a new chapter to continue our beautiful story. lastly, i hope that 2008 will be another exciting and memorable year, with many surprises ahead.

forget the past, it's history.
do not think of the future, it's a mystery.

treasure the present,
because it's a gift.

2007-12-25T00:45:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone.
The season of joy and love!

Wrote an emo poem about Christmas but I've decided that that's not what Christmas is about so I shall not post it here. Haha.

Cos all I want for Christmas is you. <3

2007-12-16T22:42:00.001+08:00

i feel loved.

to have someone who will wait for you for more than 2 hours patiently outside your house and not showing that he's angry at all.

to have someone who will waste time with you watching tv all day.

to have someone to fall asleep with.

to have someone to drive you from place to place. (:

2007-12-14T22:08:00.000+08:00

i just feel like dying.

trg = very tired
more trg = hell.

bring me back to a week before.
please.

2007-12-11T22:27:00.001+08:00

announcement: whoever is free on 29th december. and wishes to do a good deed by helping out the canoeing team to raise funds, please contact me asap. (: you'll just have to go door to door and collect old items. the venue's at amk. you will get cip hours in return, and loads of satisfaction. on the other hand, you can train your muscles too. please, help njcanoeing, or more like, help gero! haha. she needs helpers!

p.s. one person's supposed to find 3 friends. and i've found only 1? kill me.

2007-12-11T10:07:00.000+08:00

back from LA. can say that it was a great trip. (:

many unforgottable memories:

1. sunset at the horizon. (watched while on the plane)
2. took the roller coaster 6 times.
3. 10 people squashed in a 7 seater car.
4. long car trips.
5. shopped like mad.
6. got really scared in the horror house at universal studios and ran out of the wrong exit. (grins at malcolm.)
7. watching the beautiful fireworks.
8. walking in the rain aimlessly.
9. getting frozen hands.
10. laughing at stupid things. eg. titanic! (psst inside joke.)

and so much more.

pst malcolm, please take care of yourself lah. don't keep looking at pretty girls already. haha. get well soon so that you can make me laugh! ;)

ever ever after.

2007-12-01T21:08:00.000+08:00

rawr! i'm like in LA now. haha and it's like cold. brr. am going to disneyland later, so be jealous. (: haha the time here's like minus 16hours from Singapore time. so do the math. ;p

~~somehow i just woke up early to talk to someone, yet he's always so busy.~~
stupid, i'll just have fun and be merry.

2007-11-29T20:37:00.001+08:00

am going LA tmrw till 11th.
i'll miss you terribly.

and hopefully i get to use the internet in LA.

it's been one year, darling.

2007-11-21T00:36:00.001+08:00

asdgfgjklasfkl fuck,
i think i screwed up.

it's not the same anymore.

goodbye.

2007-11-20T00:29:00.000+08:00

because of you, everything became a nightmare.

sometimes i wonder why do i even bother waiting for you when i'm really tired and feel like crap after a whole day's of nonsense. you on the other hand, don't even make the effort. you don't even try?

so tell me why should i.

cos maybe definitely,
my heart's with you.

2007-11-11T16:22:00.000+08:00

me hearts nehru. (:

matthew chuyun diana bee christine shujen eugene geraldine xiurong saniah davina

obs this year has been a really enjoyable one. had a lot of fun. laughed till my stomach still aches. really hard to say everything out. if i did, i can write a novel already. basically we kayaked, jetty jumped, sailed and almost capsized our cutter, slept on the cutter, climbed height elements, trekked and got lost, played cards (snapjack) in the night which i was really bad at, came up with a musical in around 2 hours and many others. i really had a lot of fun. we also had many inside jokes. (:

"when i say zile you say... oh my god!"
captain crispy ears mad medic matthew hooi
"troy listen!"
NEHRUles <3
uncle killer
spiderman(pig)
wenloong and his shiny face (:
(can't remember already cos too many, haha.)

the best 7 days of my life.

2007-11-04T21:39:00.000+08:00

obs tmrw till sunday.

i won't miss you, cos you're always in my heart.
rmbr that's what you told me before? haha.

love.

2007-10-28T15:57:00.000+08:00

i know where to find love.

today, i:
slipped and fell down the stairs
got a "bath" by our dearest merlion
watched the rain fall
packed my room
attempted to study chinese
wrote you a letter
missed you badly
wished you were here with me.

/ almost a year.

2007-10-20T00:36:00.000+08:00

maybe i have learnt how not to care so much.
all these doesn't seem to mean so much to me anymore.

or is it you?

i enjoyed myself today.
i laughed, i jumped, i had fun, i was high on sugar.

but was it all pretense?

may
~~not~~
be.

2007-10-12T22:22:00.000+08:00

let's get this straight.. i love you
i'll always love you, end of story.
no happily ever after, just i love you

i love to keep you company as you do your work,
just to keep you going on. (:

i know you'd do the same for me.
<3

2007-10-06T22:26:00.000+08:00

Every relationship is messed up, but what makes it perfect is that you still wanna be there when things really suck.

well, i was kind of disappointed, hurt, sad, angry etc these past days. i guess you should know why. i just want to tell you that, no matter whatever happened, it's already history and i've already kept that memory deep down inside, where no one else can see it. i've never blamed you. not a single bit. it was more of disappointed. when i said, "i hate you." i guess it was in a moment of anger. you know i never will. things will still be the same alright? i trust you, with my heart.

i'll be strong,
no matter whatever happens.
but even superheroes need rest.

-i'm no superwoman.

2007-09-26T15:58:00.000+08:00

somehow i really hope things can stay the same, but then i guess things will lose their original meaning.

although it's not the last day yet, the school term is somewhat coming to an end as assessment week is approaching. i guess today's the last day we'll have normal lessons in our classroom together as a class. we'll all be taking different subjects and not seeing each other as much next year even though we'll still be in the same class. and my dear tablemate, i don't know if i'll ever get to sit next to you again. thank you for everything. i mean it.

well, i couldn't help but get emotional when i read the notes the class and our teachers have wrote for me. i was sincerely touched. just as i felt the class was getting closer, and school was getting more meaningful, things are coming to an end. i've come to realise that we only treasure what we have when we are about to lose or have already lost it. haha you all might think i'm being over emotional or something, crying when it's not even like we'll not see each other again or something. but i am sure you all do know, that things will not be the same again.

it never will be.

and i thank you all, for the wonderful times you all have given me. maybe the end of the year, i'll post a little message for every one of you. as for now, i wish you all all the best for your assessment week. we'll always be 06ip06 - together as one. <3

ps. happy birthday steph!

2007-09-15T21:17:00.000+08:00

i tried, at least i tried.
hello anh. if you see this. (:
maybe one day you'll know
how much it hurts
to see you walking away from me.

2007-09-05T00:16:00.000+08:00

i hate it when you make my day, then tell me something that disappoints me again. although i know it's not your fault at all. i sincerely hope that you confirm everything before telling me next time alright? i was planning to catch a movie with you or something. it's the holidays. and everytime i see couples having fun outside, my heart just sinks. but oh well, i know you're busy and everything. so sorry for being this way again. but it feels better saying everything out here. girls will always be girls. so you can't blame me for being a girl huh. ;p ah well, no matter what, do note that i still love you alright.

sleep is good.
maybe if i could sleep forever,
and forget about the world.
i'm tired, very tired.
how do i go on?

oh maybe,
sleep is good.

2007-08-28T15:41:00.000+08:00

i do get tired,
but you know when to carry me
to make me feel better.

these months have been
the most amazing ever. <3

/ 9.

2007-08-15T19:24:00.000+08:00

hard to (for)get.

many many things to do these days. yet i seem to have so little time. as i was telling some of my friends, this year seemed to pass so quickly. (maybe it's cos i have you.) well, i wonder if it's a good or bad thing to grow up so fast. i realized sometimes things are not as simple as they seem. there's so much more inside. i just have to look deeper. maybe i should look from another point of view sometimes and not be so stubborn.

you're going for attachment soon. but i suppose things will still be the same. or even closer than ever. (: nevertheless, changes take place all the time. it's just a matter of whether we are able to adapt to them. i can't wait to go out with you again. those times we used to have. each time you come all the way just to send me home, i'm touched. although i never do say it, i really am. each time i make you wait for me, i'm touched. cos you never complained. each time you come just to keep me company and we'll waste our nights together, i'm touched. thank you, for all the things you have done.

give your laughter to all,
but smile to one.
give your love to all,
but heart to one.

my only one is you.

2007-08-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

i'd rather sit on the phone in silence
with you then have the best conversation
ever with someone else.

it's been a while now. and walking down the road with you made me realise that we have come so far. it's like we've gone through so much together, the best, and the worst. i never regretted being with you at all. my life's perfect cos of you. i know i neglect you a lot of times due to canoeing, but i wish to tell you that, you're still the most important to me. and i love you.

2007-07-24T21:03:00.000+08:00

it's every girl's dream to have
a guy call her at 3am just to say;
"hey baby, just wanted
to say i love you."

disappointments, tears, and whatever not.

i've had enough of always wanting to do more,
and yet never doing it.

i've had enough of always being blamed
for something i didn't do.

i'll show you what it takes
to be me.

2007-07-18T19:40:00.000+08:00

Love isn't all about having butterflies in your stomach.
It's gonna take a lot of fighting, tears,
And your'e going to have to be open to learning new things
And taking chances
And if you make it through everything,
Then you're perfect for each other.

Baby you're perfect for me.
Perfect 10.

2007-07-11T17:19:00.000+08:00

i just felt so alone. there are times when you'll still be scared, no matter how confident you are, no matter how prepared you are. the feeling is inevitable. tomorrow's the final showdown, i wish nj will give it their all. show them what njcanoeing is made of. there's no fear of not being able to get first, just fear of being not able to give your very best. and i promise the team, that i'll give it my all. it's one last shot as a b div girl.

every drop of blood,
heart&soul, go the distance.

i know that everyone is here for me, i'll row for all of you.
except you.

2007-06-30T23:01:00.000+08:00

i'm tired. really tired. from canoeing and everything else. but i'm not giving up just yet.

just wait and see. i'll be stronger as time goes by. but for now, can i just lean on you?

gero, hold on. just hold on.

2007-06-22T23:45:00.000+08:00

Fine, I admit it. I think of you every second of every day. You're are my favourite subject to talk about. When I hug you I wish I could never let go. And most of all of my dreams have you in them.

I felt really loved today when you told me that. I felt really happy. I could sense that you were too. I wish we could always be like that. (: I don't mind you making fun of me, cos we'd just end up laughing at our own stupidity. Thanks for comforting me everytime I feel like emoshit, but you need to learn to control your temper too okay? I enjoy all the busrides back with you, cos they're always fun with you around.

/ Tell me you won't walk away.

2007-06-17T22:07:00.000+08:00

Hello, I miss you terribly. Sometimes I just really miss you so much. The feeling cannot be described in words. I just miss everything about you.

Maybe that very moment doesn't matter anymore, will everything we have put in come down like a sinking ship? I really do not wish this to happen. We will still be a team.

/ then it'll be just you and me.

2007-06-08T23:14:00.001+08:00

Sometimes you have to test someone. Not because you don't trust them, but to see how much they'll sacrifice for you. And sometimes you have to let them go; not because you suddenly stopped loving them, but to see if they love you enough to come back.